Metabolic Test: First Evaluation
The other day, I came into work with no breakfast, coffee, or other metabolism-altering substances messing with my system. I put down my laptop bag, took off my coat, and waited for my metabolic test to begin.
The purpose of the metabolic test, as I understand it, is to measure the number of calories per day that my body burns basically doing nothing – that is, the calories I require just to function through my daily sedentary rituals. It also helps trainers establish when your body reaches its anaerobic thresholds, and when it changes from burning fat to burning carbs. We would be conducting the test in the lower level of our facility, with a room specifically dedicated to the purpose.
“Test” is a word that is used loosely, as my only responsibility during the 15 minute session was to lay down on a comfortable couch and not fall asleep. A heart monitor is strapped across the chest to monitor heart rate, and an elastic airtight gas mask-looking unit is strapped around the head, with a small tube coming from the mouth section to breathe through.
“You sort of have a big head,” said Gene, my boss and owner of Global Ride, as he realized the breathing unit wouldn’t fit around my head went to the supply closet to get a new one that was larger. “I’ve never had to use this one before.” Thanks, Gene.
These two devices are not the most forgiving accessories when you’re attempting to get comfortable, but with the lights down low, ambient music playing, and a big soft couch full of pillows surrounding you, it’s not terribly difficult to relax. Breathe through your mouth, not your nose, in, out, in, out, listen to the machine scribble and calculate, in, out, in, out, scribble, calculate, it’s over.
Daily calories burned: 1771
Fuel mixture: 57% fat, 43% carbs.
BMI: 23 (a.k.a. “normal weight”)
It’s not particularly bad looking as far as numbers go. But again, there’s one point to stress in this blog: being fat and being fit aren’t parallel. I guarantee there are plenty of fat people in better shape than me. Burning 1771 calories per day doing relatively nothing is quite a few. Exercising is going to pump that up higher. During a 45-minute Spin session, people can burn anywhere from 500-700 calories. That’s quite a bit, buddy.
So that’s what I learned from the metabolic test. That, and I have an unusually large head. Hell yeah.
Don’t mess with the bull, you’ll get the horns.
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