Hi. Jeff here. Of course, I’m usually the one here – but I’m calling myself out for this post so you don’t get a false impression of someone else’s lifestyle. Anywho, this post is about a lot of things. It’s about the mission of Global Ride and our virtual spin DVDs. It’s about motivation and exercise. It’s about technology, the future, and how they relate to everyday sports and fitness. And finally, it is to bring that all together. At least I hope that’s what it’s all about when I’m done writing it.

If you’ve ever read this now rarely-updated blog, you know that I was a person that never exercised for any reason. In fact, I’m probably still that person, but because Gene and Lorraine are nice enough to let me Spin for free before my work day, I can’t pass up the offer. That and if I were to stop doing it, Gene would no doubt cast a stank eye in my direction for quite a while (and his stank eye is staaaaanky – it often comes out when he’s on hold with FedEx). But that’s not the point – the point is, I have always hated working out with the fire of a thousand suns. I’d rather be beaten in the eyebrows with bamboo reeds than lift weights. Running makes me wish for the cool hand of death to give me a firm high-five. And yoga? Well, I’m as flexible as the Statue of Liberty. But now, things have changed. Since becoming involved with Global Ride and our video projects, I’ve been given a means to tolerate exercise… and sometimes, dare I say with ample hesitation, even enjoy it.

I’m also a geeky computer person. Thick plastic glasses and all. But guess what! Sports are slowly but surely being tailored to me. Technology is getting involved. Sports and exercise are evolving. I’m not the only one put off by all forms of physical activity – that’s why we’re known as a country full of fat, out of shape people that are ironically obsessed with all things healthy. Nobody wants to do this crap. But the fancy high-paid geeky computer people in science labs are working to bring technology into fitness, making me happy and giving me a chance at exercise. It’ll make things more enjoyable, more interactive, and more, well, virtual – as if fitness is a game!

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Check out this website, which is full of articles about technolifying sports and exercise. I just coined that word, by the way. Don’t use it. If you do, royalties can be sent to my paypal account.

From virtual bikes to digital track and field, virtual soccer, Wii fitness and virtual handball, we’re all going to be buffer than Jean Claude Van Damme in a few years, and we’re going to have fun and score points getting that way. It’s all coming together. Excuses to not exercise are disappearing, so you might as well get on board – or get more clever with your reasons to keep slacking off. Lord knows I’ll try my best to come up with some.

So how’s this connect to Global Ride? Well, kiddo, while we might not be strapping a set of virtual reality goggles to your face and sending your conscious mind into a digitized land of athletic splendor, we’re taking technology and applying it to exercise in an accessible, realistic way for today’s average person. We can get you on a bike, burning hundreds of calories an hour, and make it seem less like work and more like fun because you aren’t staring at the wall, a sweaty butt, or a clock. You’re in Hawaii. You’re in Italy. You’re journeying through exotic locations that you’ve probably never been to in real life. Your mind is in a more comfortable place, distracted, but focused on the ride and the adventure. It’s entry-level virtual reality that anyone can understand, use, and benefit from. It’s one step towards the eventual full-blown fusion of sports and technology, and we’re happy to be on the cusp of that movement. We want to combine the indoor and outdoor worlds of cycling, convincing each group that the other has its benefits, and we want to do so by creating the best product in a blooming field.

It’s all doing its best to convince me. And trust me, the fact that it’s even remotely close means it’s worth trying.

Now all we need is you. I’ll end with a plug: Buy a DVD, punk.

The only thing more difficult than an out of shape person Spinning is an out of shape, inhumanly inflexible person following Spinning with a heaping dose of ball class. Attempting to keep balance and stretch out on stability balls is something I originally didn’t want to try, but the persistent ladies of the MWF Spin class forced me into it. Thanks to their nagging, I can say I don’t regret it, and will be back next week.

Some things were harder than others, obviously. I should include a picture of this, because it’s hard to explain, as my previous adjective “inhuman” is fairly accurate. When I sit, or position myself on my back, I can hardly stick my leg out straight because of my super tight hamstrings. Attempting to lift my leg in the air to any degree results in a bend at the knee. The further I attempt to raise, the further it bends, until it’s past a 90 degree angle. I’ll have to get some pictures up here for sure, because I need you to really see what I’m talking about. All this inflexibility made the ball class surprisingly challenging, but I can see how it will provide future rewards if I stick with it as an after-Spin routine.

I sit in a chair.  I sit in a chair all the time.  Oh, I do occasionally get up and venture to other chairs. Perhaps “seats” would be more appropriate, as I frequently travel from one chair to another, maybe from a padded recliner to a wooden diner, occasionally stopping off at a bench, couch, loveseat or futon for added variety.  I take it easy and life takes it easy on me, and I don’t enjoy overexertion.   I’m comfortable.  I’m clean.  There’s a crease in my pants.  I’m dry.  I’m free of pain.

Aside from the near-daily LCD screen headaches, neck and shoulder cramping, geriatric levels of stamina, terrible circulation, mannequin-stiff muscles and tendons and the feeling of receiving a PVC pipe lumbar puncture administered by a twelfth-century cannon every time I lie on my back.

Yeah, so maybe I’m not free of pain.  Until now, that’s been tolerable.  Working out is painful, annoying and uncomfortable.  And so is the pain from sitting still on the glute pillows. Why should I struggle for pain when it can come naturally, all while doing those sedentary things I so heartily enjoy?

Because that’s awful logic, pal.  That’s why.  There’s a bigger moose to shoot, and that logic is a cap gun.  It turns out workout pain is “beneficial” pain, and sitting around pain is… um… non-beneficial pain.  It turns out I’ve been “deconditioned,” the non-confrontational industry term used to gently tell people they’re out of shape.  

And so here we are, ready to exchange one brand of pain for another, ready to repair what years of nothingness has so effectively broken, ready to stand up straight and tackle the biggest, craziest, meanest deterrent of exercise in all its gloriously unappealing forms… myself.

Health on wheels.  Well, one wheel.  Time to get some slick pants, clean shoes, and perhaps a brown paper bag or two.  I’m going Spinning®.