This blog will chronicle my Spinning and subsequent development of superhero-level powers of strength and endurance at the Global Ride facility in Lower Burrell, Pennsylvania.  Global Ride is the home of all things Spinning®, yoga and pilates, as well as the headquarters of Cycling Fusion.

I sit in a chair.  I sit in a chair all the time.  Oh, I do occasionally get up and venture to other chairs. Perhaps “seats” would be more appropriate, as I frequently travel from one chair to another, maybe from a padded recliner to a wooden diner, occasionally stopping off at a bench, couch, loveseat or futon for added variety.  I take it easy and life takes it easy on me, and I don’t enjoy overexertion.   I’m comfortable.  I’m clean.  There’s a crease in my pants.  I’m dry.  I’m free of pain.

Aside from the near-daily LCD screen headaches, neck and shoulder cramping, geriatric levels of stamina, terrible circulation, mannequin-stiff muscles and tendons and the feeling of receiving a PVC pipe lumbar puncture administered by a twelfth-century cannon every time I lie on my back.

Yeah, so maybe I’m not free of pain.  Until now, that’s been tolerable.  Working out is painful, annoying and uncomfortable.  And so is the pain from sitting still on the glute pillows. Why should I struggle for pain when it can come naturally, all while doing those sedentary things I so heartily enjoy?

Because that’s awful logic, pal.  That’s why.  There’s a bigger moose to shoot, and that logic is a cap gun.  It turns out workout pain is “beneficial” pain, and sitting around pain is… um… non-beneficial pain.  It turns out I’ve been “deconditioned,” the non-confrontational industry term used to gently tell people they’re out of shape.  

And so here we are, ready to exchange one brand of pain for another, ready to repair what years of nothingness has so effectively broken, ready to stand up straight and tackle the biggest, craziest, meanest deterrent of exercise in all its gloriously unappealing forms… myself.

Health on wheels.  Well, one wheel.  Time to get some slick pants, clean shoes, and perhaps a brown paper bag or two.  I’m going Spinning®.